The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
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