Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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