and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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