I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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