Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
