these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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