You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
