So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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