It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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