I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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