shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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