I can tuck mytits in my pants
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
