i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize