So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
