you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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