What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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