Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
