Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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