Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
