he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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