so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
