I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
