I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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