did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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