bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize