Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Randomize
