That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
