OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
did you just send me my own nude
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
