Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
