Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
