seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
