apparently the secret to your success is patron
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
