talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
