Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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