So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
