my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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