its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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