My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
