I'm lost and stupid without you.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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