Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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