don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
