the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
