If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
