so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
