Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He passed out mid-signature
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
