I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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