Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
