I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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