doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
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