It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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