C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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