okay pat passed out under dana's car
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize