btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
