Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
