with your own penis?
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Randomize
