'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
just tell him i said nine months
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
