I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
