Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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