dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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