O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
