Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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