the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
