Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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