The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
