I think I am morally bankrupt
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
