hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
